"...a lot of people work to earn. And, while at it, they forget to learn..." -- John Joclebs Bassey

 I was reminded yesterday of the difference between working smarter and working harder. It's an old subject, the point of which is at once easy to see, yet too often missed.

 Of course, all of us could organize our thoughts better, improve efficiency, obtain better physical tools (they're glad to sell them to you at Lowes and Home Depot) and stop if only briefly to step back a minute. Right now this house, like so many, has a garage half-full (or more) of Just One More Thing To Accomplish Shit. Anymore, you can hire a company to show up and actually pay someone to haul away all this shit so we have room to replace it. "We gotta downsize!" but actually doing so proves a bigger challenge. My Dad gave me that, I might use this one day. Sometimes we actually do use it, thereby proving to ourselves we've worked smarter.

 Having downsized several times over the decades, I'm at the point where pretty much all I own really worth keeping can fit into a 1995 Ford F-150, which I don't have. At least physically, things are pared down about as tight as they'll go. But even those things are mostly curb-worthy. There's some (easily replaceable) artwork of several types, some clothing that largely begs another era and just enough hand and small power tools to completely screw up any chosen project.

 Yesterday's conversation reminded me a hard worker can at the same time be a lazyass. It's not a case of failure to put in hours or an inability to efficiently use our physical and/or intellectual tools. It's more a case of recognizing who we are and what we bring to that proverbial table as a reliable individual. This includes mental toughness and self-reliance -- two things that too often are lost or, one could argue, never develop. The lazyass usually recognizes but refuses to act. All is already lost anyway, so why try? Failure is now a habit.

 I wrote a few days ago about Thoreau, Emerson and transcendentalism. Self-reliance and awareness of surroundings, often by appreciating nature, are part of that. The tenents of physical labor and proper planning are useless without belief in self, if one throws up their hands or otherwise fails, through lack of personal examples, to recognize one's individual value.

 This can be confused with arrogance, that personal bluster too often seen these days as a hallmark of accomplishment. It asks why doesn't anyone recognize my genius? Actual reliable confidence is quiet, steady and easily recognized. The former is a useless parody. But sadder still is a failure to believe in one's worth. The reason is immaterial.

 We're each a bucket of simple tools, like the plastic pail at the top of this post. We're stained, a bit dirty and sometimes things get lost at the bottom until we dig around a bit and find what we need. We're not overcomplicated, or shouldn't be. We just have to remember what's in there.

"...we can make ourselves miserable or we can make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same..." -- Carlos Castaneda

"...if you do what you love, it is the best way to relax.." -- Christian Louboutin

 Delaroche actually did this painting in 1840, after Napoleon's death. But it's one of the most famous, along with the five versions of him crossing the Alps.

 The painting has always spoken to me as one depicting the sometime disgust and fatigue of Daily Life. Be it due to a job, having kids, car problems or whatever, we sometimes slouch into a chair, throw up our hands and say what the hell, even when we know sometimes it's our own damn fault.

 I've lately been observing and thinking about self-created problems that go unrecognized by those making them. There's the old line about insanity being a case of doing the same thing over and over but expecting a different result. While there's something to be said for continued effort and repeated failure (Edison being one example), I tend to side with that great philosopher W.C. Fields, who said, "if at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. No point in being a damn fool about it."

 Some folks are "poor me" individuals. They're always victims, a situation exhausting for themselves and those around them. It's largely learned behavior and a habit extremely difficult to break. I watch it almost daily, knowing one can't simply snap their fingers and be more happy. At least not without some pharmaceutical help.

 The antithesis to this is the person who's able to find enough good to work through whatever it is, see a way of dealing with the negatives and step past them. Just as misery can be self-imposed, so can positivity -- and I don't mean the kind that's just an act. This has been reinforced on me over the past year or so, particularly the past couple of months.

We can each create positives and negatives. I'm reminded it of it daily by both observation and experience. One of the things I've re-learned is how to set the boundaries I've talked about in earlier entries. It's not always pleasant but is a guarantor of moving forward.

 Happiness is a choice, but finding it ain't always easy.

"...the time to relax is when you don't have time for it..." -- Sidney J. Harris

 

 

"...surprise is the greatest gift which life can offer us..." -- Boris Pasternak

 This photo shows the inimitable Tom Shepard and me. The photo date says we had just turned two, with Tom being three days older. I've known him longer than anyone except one, and she's not on social media.

 This all popped into mind yesterday as I dove into some of Thoreau's writing. The latest Ken Burns documentary is about Thoreau and narrated by George Clooney. My plan is to watch it this weekend. While what I have on hand is an excerpt about walking (he did a lot of it), I'll also nail down complete copies of Walden and Civil Disobedience. They're but two examples of things we're told to read when we're 14, yet can't really begin to understand until we get to be about three times that. One doesn't have to be a parent (Thoreau wasn't) to get it, though my experience says that can speed it along.

 Thoreau and his buddy Emerson were pretty much the founders of transcendentalism, which was largely a reaction to the Age Of Reason. The older I've gotten (and luckily still get), the more I identify with its tenents of self-reliance, observing, admiring and learning from nature, the advantages of Time Alone and general evolution into being (hopefully) a more complete individual. You can toss some Stoicism into that, but it can inhibit the heart. That's a discussion best left to decent whiskey.

 The photo of Tom and me is a reminder of beginnings and how we change over time yet remain the same. Just as we have our varying collections of experience (his are vastly different than mine), we ultimately are left with ourselves and how we react to and otherwise handle Life Its Owndamnself. This can bring us closer to family, to friends or in some cases philosophies. My connection to family begins with my kids, but I think close friends such as Tom burnish who we are and become. We bounce all this off the various approaches (such as Thoreau's) and become Who We Are, at least at the time. This leads us to think we have shit all figured out.

  I call this my Age Of Conflict, as personal history and professional demands were often at cross purposes. Throw new parenthood into all this and the comparatively "easy" life of a 20something balls up pretty fast. We are at a stage in life when things can get real serious in a hurry. Thanks to Catherine for usually just rolling her eyes and putting up with multidirectional me, neither of us knowing just how complicated it'd get.

 Despite the mess it can be, most of us push through to a life with and around those we've learned to trust. This can include our oldest of friends and much newer ones. Our decision-making on who and what we hang with is much more honed. Or should be. Yes -- this is the kind of person I prefer as company and trust for advice if asked.

 Some never reach that point or are too late coming to it. Their internal assurance of their own correctness goes beyond being just stubborn (as we can all be) and into an arrogance based on active refusal to observe, listen to or otherwise face the measures of becoming A Responsible Adult. They've never faced consequences, but instead constantly reassured of their own perfect sense. While I'll rarely get political in this forum, this is our president.

 I've been lucky in that way, having faced consequences manifested today in personal, financial and physical challenges. Not that I'm any sort of sad puppy. More fortunate than most to Just Be Here and have friends/family I can trust and a place or two I can be to rediberate on it all.

 I was literally born your classic bastard, in an adoption home and never knowing either bioparent. But I'm a damn lucky one.

"...everything has been figured out, except how to live..." -- Jean-Paul Sartre