"...you can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf..." -- Jon Kabat-Zinn

 

  So far I'm on target about how things are now that I'm back at the house --unchanged. It's why I'm insisting therapy continues.

 The photo was taken inside my tabac in Montmerency, a suburb of Paris. We lived there a coupla months and they were among the most relaxed in my life. I'd stop in every morning for an espresso, conversation and an occasional smoke on the walk to the morning croissant.

 I can't think of a US equivalent to a tabac -- part espresso bar, part tobacco/lottery store, part rumor mill, part idle conversation.

 Definitely the best kinda therapy.

 It's mostly a male hangout but women are welcome. They just usually don't have the time to listen to Gallic male bullshit they hear enough of elsewhere.

 Thinking on it, I guess the closest vibe to a tabac in the US are Cafe DuMonde and Morning Call in New Orleans. Except they don't let you smoke.

 I have a friend in New Orleans whose wife and cat recently died within a few days of each other. Talk about needing counseling. He's always been an independent sort, so he's not prone to opening himself. But several of us are strongly encouraging.

 Since getting out of rehab last Friday and assessing the (unchanged) situation here at the house, I've lowered my head and focused on getting my private space set up, doing some cooking and generally trying to change how I deal with things. In other words, establishing a different set of boundaries. Far as I can tell, this will mean more Alone Time in my tiny sanctuary or locating a social environment someplace else. One of the good things about rehab was its daily time with the same folks -- something I hadn't had in awhile for health reasons. I'm still moving slow and stamina is taking some time, but the old enthusiasm is back and I've learned that if I stop trying to do something, I'll never do it.

 The more I can talk this out, the better. I'm thrilled to be resuming regular therapy this week. Hopefully it will be a great help moving forward and in keeping me focused on those boundaries and doing what's best for me. I'm half the monthly income in this house and without it nothing works. I have the income to live on my own if need be in about 30-45 days. I can open a new account at Wells Fargo for $25 and they'd love to welcome back an old customer, so don't back me into a corner.

 Understand my partner isn't the one creating the situation. But some decisions will have to be made. Life's simply too precious to be marionetted.

"...treat a man like a monkey and the man's gonna monkey around..." -- Delbert McClinton